January 2012
3 posts
Are You Lonesome Tonight
I wonder if you're lonesome tonight You know someone said that the worlds a stage And each must play a part Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart Act one was when we met I loved you at first glance You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue Then came act two you seemed to change and you acted strange And why I've never known Honey you lied when you said you loved me And I...
2 tags
Teaching And Being Taught
Everyone has a day job; whether they want to admit it or not. There are these people that we play all day long in the world’s strangest one act play. And I find myself constantly trying to peer behind the curtain.
Friday nights pan out, for me at least, as an ode to the week past. It serves as a momentary closure to something going fast, and a precursor to something rapidly approaching. We had...
2 tags
Resolution
On New Year’s Day, I spent the better part of the morning reading through various posts about resolutions and dreams of the people around me. The type of optimism that is naked, and honest. And for the first time, I began to feel a little old. Now granted, I am well aware that I am far from old; still shockingly young at times. But the resolutions I were reading were from people who had...
December 2011
5 posts
3 tags
The New You Resolution
Once all the pages are torn out of your nifty little desk calendar, and the dust begins to settle in Times Square, the New Year creeps into our lives like an eerie morning fog. With our champagne hangovers and glitter in our hair, we approach January 1st as certain type of re-birth; and annual baptism, if you will.
Lists are made with new goals: a goal job, a goal weight. We raise the bar for...
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November 2011
5 posts
6 tags
White Wedding
I had a woman call today to price a few of our designer wedding gowns. Most of the time, I assume they are pricing out the dresses just to see if it is remotely in their price range. While we don’t offer multi thousand dollar gowns, and I am no Vera, we still offer expensive wedding gowns.
Brides are finicky creatures. I have encountered a few in my short time here that range from raging bitch...
4 tags
Writing for the written words sake
Like instances that only occur once or the flash of light in the corner of your eye. Like a camera going off in a crowd, it’s impossible to pinpoint the exact location, but the action is obvious. The written word is a lot like the worse case of the trots you have ever had; it’s messy and sometimes painful. There are big words and small words and meaningless words and timeless words and scary...
3 tags
Life As We Know It
At some point this week, Stephen Hawking made me feel small. As a six foot tall gay man, that rarely happens. There are few things that make me feel small; the ocean, the sky. But things we see everyday never make me feel small. I begin to feel like a cog, as opposed to an individual. But Stephen Hawking began to describe the outer rims of space, with its wormholes and black holes, and...
5 tags
(rhetoric)
I always stop by Facebook at some point each evening, aching to say something amazingly poignant or terribly witty. And yet when I arrive there, I find myself looking into something I don’t recognize; something I never felt a part of to begin with.
I never thought of myself as a private person. I have thought of myself as shy by circumstance, or even cerebral, but never private. My life is as...
6 tags
Ghosts
I started thinking about ghosts today. The type that haunts you, long after you began being haunted. The kind that provoke you; stare at you square in the face. I don’t think we as people are afraid of things that go bump in the night, but rather the types of things that taunt us.
We are haunted not by ghosts, but by ourselves. Ghosts of who we used to be; unrecognizable faces in the dark. ...
October 2011
2 posts
2 tags
The Ballad Of John And Yoko
I am the type of person who holds onto the lap-bar extremely tight the first time I am on a ride. It is half thrill and half terror, but I wholly hold on. There is that tiny voice in your head telling you to let go, regardless of the consequence. But our brain innately tells us to hold on tight while everything around us is going to fast; we ache for something to cling to.
I’ve always thought...
6 tags
Occupant
My parents told me that I used to yell at the top of my lungs at the beach. I am not sure if it was the waves or the sand or just the epicness of it all, but I used to scream. It wasn’t that terrifying “I am getting dragged into a windowless van” type of scream, but that thrilled scream. I was a kid; a kid who liked to have a good time at all hours during all seasons. What I think enjoyed...
September 2011
13 posts
4 tags
My dog is an extension of my psyche
People generally like to say that dog owners resemble their dogs, and vice-versa. I have seen little people with little dogs, long pouty faces with similar owners and hairy dogs with even harrier people. My favorite is when the owner looks just as un-kept as the dog; both looking like they have been in some bushes all afternoon in the backyard.
My dog and I do not look a thing alike. He...
3 tags
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THE GOP DEBATE
3 tags
Great Gay Moments
That gay conversion course Shelly Bachman’s husband took forgot the rookie mistake of “KEEP THAT GODDAMN PINKY DOWN.”
That tea-cup looks like a Victorian butt-plug.
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Fashion of the Christ
I have no regrets when it comes to what I chose to do in college. No part of me looks back; wishes I had done it differently. I could have been a Biology major, I am smart enough. I could have been a Journalism major; I look at life as though I am reading it. But I majored in design; apparel design to be specific. At the time, it made the most sense. I had spent most of my adolescence aching...
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Great Moments in All Of Us.
I have spent most of my life listening. If you knew me, you would think I had spent most of my life talking; entertaining even. But the reality is that I have spent the better part of my life listening, as though I am trying to break some sort of code or solve a riddle. And for my sake, I hope the riddle is funny.
I want to begin interviewing my contemporaries; my peers. I could speak with...
1 tag
“The artist’s job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote to...”
– Gertrude Stein
A Year
A good year is usually measured by change, or adaptation. It’s measured by your own accomplishments, or your own failures.
In a year, you witness the birth and death of things dear to your soul, to things that seem foreign to your ideas.
You push forward in the vain hope that a year from now you will have something to look back on
But the true measure of a year is getting to know...
6 tags
August 2011
19 posts
1 tag
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Frivoloty
Michelle Bachman was recently quoted saying she did not want to waste her precious republican time talking about such, and I quote, “frivolous things” such as Gay Marriage and Gay Rights.
Frivolous.
She is also seen on the current issue of Newsweek magazine in what appears to be a cross between an extra in the off-broadway production of “Hairspray” and one of those small dogs where both of...
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Dear Zooey Deschanel
Great Moments on Vacation
“Don’t you fuck with me, Ron Howard.”
Great Moments on Vacation
On directions:
Father: ” is there a Best Buy in the area?”
(silence)
Father: well SOMEONE the damn iPhone i pay for you all.
Brother 1: there is one 5 minutes away in Marina.
Brother 2: What do we need at Best Buy?
Brother 1: just take the freeway, the 1. Look for exit 408.
Mother: it won’t let me type best buy. I keep typing “vest buy”
Father: just go to...
Great Moments on Vacation
My mother is one of those people that reads every sign we come across.
“Gianni’s Pizzeria.”
“Doctor’s on duty”
“Harvest by the Sea: A fish market”
….
I’m currently looking for a sign that reads:
“Bar”
Great Moments on Vacation
My brother, on his love for asian women and visa versa.
“when i walk into Ramen places, bra’s pretty much undo themselves.”
Great Moments on Vacation
My mother upon leaving a public bathroom at a rest stop.
“It smells in there!” She then proceeds to look that behind me threre are now 3 strangers in line waiting to relieve themselves. She then proceeds with: “Oh. But I had nothing to do with that smell.”
July 2011
56 posts
I love it when Tabatha takes over a Black salon.
tan-the-man:
It’s priceless.
I have been watching my life. It's right there. I...